all i see is fireworks ..

i wonder what it would be like to lose everything in the blink of an eye. one of my biggest fears is one of my parents dying in a car crash on their way home from work, or getting shot at random because some random person decided that everything i am and everything i've worked for mean nothing. and this one seems shallow, but i get soo scared that one day i'll wake up ugly. it sounds stupid, but i can't imagine living my life ugly. the thought FRIGHTENS me. that's drastic, whether or not you want to believe it. and this week in particular i've been looking rather hideous, and it's really making me nervous. i'm hoping it's just something that came and will pass.. quickly. i can't function like this. i'm literally standing at the edge of sanity, and i'm more than positive that becoming ugly would drive me straight over that edge.

(google images)

i'm your biggest fan ; i'll follow you until you love mee

between my broken keyboard and the confusion in my life i haven't found the time to write. but this blog is keeping me sane, and in a way i feel like it helps me organize my thoughts and prepares me to deal with the chaos i call life. in the words of eleanor roosevelt, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. i couldn't have said it better myself. you can't live your life letting people make you feel like you aren't good enough. you have to be your OWN standard of perfection - if you spend your time wishing you were someone else, you waste the person that you are. define yourself - don't let anyone tell you who you are or who you should be. own what's yours.

(completely random; but i love ke$ha <3 - photobucket)

(photobucket)

i love that lavender blonde - the way she moves , the way she walks ; i TOUCH myself ' cant get enough

i'm irritated. if your body language and facial expression are telling someone to leave you alone, why does the someone NEVER respect it, and go away? instead, they decide to stay and annoy you until you lose composure and THEN have the blatant audacity to get mad at YOU. or they see that you're not responding well to them and precede to call you ungrateful, rude, whatever comes to mind. i hate that. my head hurts & i hate my living predicament. i'm single and i miss my ex who has most likely forgotten my name. life is just slipping through my fingers. before i know it i'll be back in school, waking up every day before 6 AM and stressed out dealing with pathetic people. ughhh when did my life face plant? &(^%*$#$&%

(i randomly found this on my desktop;

forgot where i got it from_ )

You're Hot; Let's Go Get Some Ice Cream

I love photography, and while I've never modeled professionally, I like being in pictures. I don't know if I like being in front or behind the camera more. I don't know what I'm better at, or what I have more potential in. Everyone alwayssss tells me that I should model- people even told my mother I should model when I was a baby. But it's such a tough industry that so many gorgeoussss people are involved in. Ughhh thoughts thoughts thoughts. So many people have been involved in it since childhood, you know. But I LOVE the feeling of making a picture beautiful, but I also love the idea of taking a beautiful picture. I'm a creative person, and I love feeling like I've made something unique and different that can make people =O.

(Armani & Versace ads)

There's nothing you can do but cry and masturbate using your own tears for lubrication

so as far as my diet goes.. it's been an epic fail, and it's only day 1 -_______- . i knew that we were having dominoes for lunch today & my PLAN was to only eat 1 slice and have water. i ate 4 slices & had mellow fellow or yellow fellow (i forgot what it's called; it's basically a variation of mountain dew). >:O but at least i did a lot of walking today. i'm not gonna eat dinner today, to try to make up for eating 4 slices of pizza today. hopefulllly i'll start taking this diet more seriously, but dieting is just something i'm not very accustomed to. 

anyways, today was a pretty good day overall (: i felt the love lol.



i looooooove timothy de la ghettooooo <3

This Is Why You're Fat

^&%$#@*!

either my metabolisms slowing down, or i've been letting myself go this summer. today when i got out the shower my stomach wasnt even FLAT. there was this wierd bulge thing- it was soo disgusting. ew i sound like those retarded people from california that go on ketchup & water diets lmao. but i've always had a nice body with little to no effort, and to have a body that doesn't live up to its reputation isn't something i think i can live with. it's time for a diet. i've been reaaaally reckless lately. i had a jr whopper, medium fries, and a sprite today, and AT LEAST six slices of pizza from papa john's. ughhhhh this is disgusting. today is thursday, august 12th, 2010. i'm on a diet until september 12th, 2010. wowwwww this is gonna be a long month.

This Is Why You're Fat

I'll keep you my dirty little secret

Blickiieh Loves..

• tattoos
• fruit smoothies
• high quality scenery
• high fashion ads
• authentic mexican food
• british, australian, and scottish accents
• flashy unique jewelry that just screams "BLICKIIEH"
• her uggs
• ripped jeans
• pleasant surprises

(some great fashion ads - gucci, d&g, fendi)

PS. i'm ready for something new.

Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, and Today is a gift. thats why it's called "Present"

i'm still not over my ex, but i think i've come to a point where i can accept that he's not mine anymore, and there's nothing i can do to fix that. the song of the moment is Crawl, Chris Brown. 
a lot of boys are approaching me in one way in another, and honestly i'm soo over it. he wasn't the first boy i've had a lot of feelings for, but i had the most meaningful feelings for him. we actually worked on a relationship. we had problems, and moved past them. what we had is hard to describe because there was really nothing ordinary about it. but i feel like no boy will ever live up to him and what he gave me. i know he probably moved on a good two weeks ago and he's with some drop dead gorgeous girl with long hair and a big butt, and i guess i'm okay with that. i'm just dealing with things in my own way and in my own time. i really think i'm a shopaholic, because not only is fashion my way of life, but i've been blowing money to help me cope these last few weeks. i can't even say fashion is my anti-drug, because it's basically become a drug within itself for me.

(louis vuitton ad)

live & let die

soo it's day 3. and i'm over the place as far as emotions go & as you can probably already guess, it's about my stupid amazing fantastic wonderful ex. idk why i cant get over this. i dont understand why i cant take reality for what it is. i went through our old text messages today, and it was ridiculous how much they made me smile. every time i get a text a small naiive part of me hopes that its him, or that when i come home one day he'll be waiting for me on my porch. i keep hoping that Love Story, Taylor Swift can become my reality and that my fabulous life will fall back into place. but it never is, and it never will be. im trying to accept that life isn't a disney movie, but for a hopeless romantic such as myself, it's easier said than done. it drives me crazy that i KNOW how irrational i'm being, and i still can't change the way i feel. we only went out for two weeks, and i'm a wreck, two weeks later. ridiculous.

(blickiieh orginal.. i really like this one)

a q u a r i u s

i don't really know what to write about right now, sooo i'll talk about my zodiac, which i've been paying extra attention too lately. i'm an aquarius, which is an air sign even though it sounds like a water sign.

this is copied & pasted from a zodiac website -
Aquarius are imaginative, eclectic, and unpredictable. They tend to have an unusual, bohemian style and are generally considered trendsetters. They have an independent personality and are very honest and objective. They are very wise, progressive, stimulating, and promote high ideals.
On the flip side, they tend to be cool, detached, and unemotional, which can help them succeed in business, but can harm their personal relationships. Aquarians have a determined character, but this can lead to rebelliousness. However, Aquarians are friendly and very warm to those close to them. In romantic relationships, they especially enjoy dreaming of the future and reminiscing about the past.


idk how true all the cosmic stuff is.. & i certainly don't believe you can live your life around superstition.. but it's interesting. for the most part i can say this describes me. the zodiac might actually come in useful every once in awhile. just a thought.

(photobucket)

they say the hottest love has the coldest end

i love blogs <3 even though this is only day 2. french people like blogs alot too..

ANYWAYS, --
you know when you and your bf/gf have a song, and then when you breakup that song brings back the memories you shared with them, and the way they made you feel. the deep conversations, the hilarious moments that make you laugh just thinking about them, the times they made you mad then made it up to you, and even the smallest details about them & the relationship you shared. its this violent, overwhelming rush of emotions that leave you feeling sick. but for me, its more than a song. its my couch, its my front porch, its dunkin donuts, its jp licks, its the beach, its the movies we watched together, and so much more. its like i memorized US, and now that we're over, i cant FORGET us, and honestly i dont think i want to. when someone makes you happy, even though you might end up hurt, you dont want to forget. you keep replaying those fairytale moments over and over in your head, wanting to do nothing but go back and stay there. you want those moments to be your forever. but in reality.. it feels like your only "forever" is disappointment. like your only "forever" is unhappy. like your only "forever" is alone.

(photobucket)

rules are for lames

our society is plagued by rules and regulations, that go far beyond the law. there are codes for almost every aspect of life. "dont wear white after labor day" and "wait for the guy to make the first move" are two of many. the list just seems to get longer and longer. im not the kind of girl that likes to be told what to do- how i should act or how i should feel. i prefer just.. being me. and learning from my mistakes to become a better version of myself. there are some rules i respect, like not going after someone that you know your friend likes. but for the most part, i cant help but rebel. like.. not mixmatching your silver and golds. or hiding your emotions. i understand that there are certain times and places for everything, so i'm not gonna breakdown in tears while im interviewing for a job, but in general im not gonna make mySELF uncomfortable to cater to other people. ughhh. long story short- i dont like rules, and im not the biggest fan of the people that follow them.

what im trying to say is: give up on rules, give up on normal, give up on fitting in

(photobucket- some of my favorite abnormal ladies <3)

b o r e d o m k i ll s

sooo im stilll bored.
i decided to do this blog, because of this boy from school pat, he's fabulous and so is his blog (http://www.patrickandmiley.blogspot.com/) and because ive been watching alot of sex and the city lately, and carrie inspires me. also ive always been a writer, and i actually had a blog when i was like in the 5th grade but i abandoned it lol. i just have alot of thoughts, and some of them i feel would be more appropriately expressed through a blog than facebook. a blog is more.. raw & honest.. unsensored & unrestricted. and thats the way i like things (: this is just.. mee.

anyways. now that thats out of the way,
there are soooo many annoying people on facebook. they post statuses about how many friend requests, messages, notifications they have. about their "groupies" about how they're "celebrities". it's like.. ? ok thanks for sharing lol. & it's sooo ironic how those are the same people that try to pull off this nonchalance about what other people think & stuff.. like, if you post statuses about how many people want to talk to you, you obviously want us to know, and obviously want us to think you matter. just a thought.. lol.

(photobucket- soo random, but i love her lol. she's gorgeousss)

sighhhhhh

i miss my ex soooo muchhhh. i had my first real romantic moments with him.
i'm used to being cheated on and taken for granted, or only wanted for my looks, and he was different. he actually liked me alot, and thats something new to me. i think about him excessively and the smallest things remind me of him.
it's the worsssstttt.

he was by far the best thing that happened to me this summer.

(photobucket)

Allow me to reintroduce myself

Hi, I'm Blickiieh[blick-ee].
i'm 16 & aquarius.
i have an ipod classic, verizon cell phone, and fujifilm camera that i can't live without. i look up quotes all the time & spend waaay to much time on facebook. fashion, food, and photography are the three most significant loves in my life at the moment. i'm doing my best to do more than exist and make the best of each day above ground. the song i currently cant get out of my head is Cooler Than Me, Mike Posner. i cant think of much else to say but uhh.. welcome to my life ^___^

(blickiieh original)